An addiction? Not so much.

I've been having the urge to write. To write anything-- music, poetry, thoughts...but I haven't. Apathy? Maybe. No time? Eh, it's possible. Fear of it sucking? BINGO! I am not a confident writer, but I figure no one really reads this (or even knows it exists) so it's a good place to start.

I'm ready to start a new season of life. I thought when I moved to Nashville I would start over completely and the last year and a half would be a distant memory...but it's not that easy. What I thought would be my "year and a half" will sure enough turn into two years on April 8th. Wow. But, now, it's becoming clear...this season really is about to close, and I'm going to enter into a whole new world (A new fantasic point of view.-- You're welcome.) The fog is starting to clear and the last two years...full circle. Yes. By no means am I saying this is over-- it is FAR from over...but some of that "redemptive purpose" stuff we talk about is coming into play. After all, that was the plan from the beginning, right? I digress...

I'm sitting in bed, watching my roommate watch SciFi channel (Yay.),eating off-brand Captin' Crunchberries, and staring at the scripture taped to my bed. It's been there since the first week of school, but has been constantly running through my head the last few weeks. It reads...

"For the WORD of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything He does." -Psalm 33.4

Actually, that passage plus these lyrics...

"I don't know the ways that you're hurting
Where you've walked and what you have been through.
But there is someone who's no stranger to the pain of being labeled a fool.

Try to run, you'll never escape Him. Try to fight, but you will soon give in.
Try to hide, but He will never leave you...
Cause you are loved and things will never be the same again.

We have our stories, have our failures.
We have our fears and our endless regrets.
But He will take them and turn them into thankfulness for all He forgets."

THANK YOU, Jill Phillips.

I had a great conversation with a good friend tonight about how different all of our stories are, but how the "redemptive purpose" thread runs throughout. And despite the blood, regret, weeping, painful memories, tough decisions, hard conversations, humiliation, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and shame...His word is true. and trustworthy. Hands down. That's it. There's purpose in everything. Absolutely everything. We can hold onto THAT with our weak, feeble arms.

Maybe I'll start blogging more often...it was a nice change. Plus I only have 6 pages left in my journal and 13 days till April 8th! 2 years. Love it.

Shalom friends,
Mere

A possible new addiction?? Just what I need...

So Jory, Patti, and I decided to start blogging again...however, I'm not sure how successful this new adventure will turn out because we made these a week ago...and I'm the first one to post yet...

Anyways, so this is a place for me to write out thoughts, share stories, post fantastic quotations....yeah, I think that's the point of a blog. I'm sure whoever is reading this enjoyed me spelling that out for them (you).

So, tonight, I have been watching the videos on IAmSecond.com ferverously...they are really wonderful stories. This one is from a man names Pete Briscoe, a pastor, as he discusses his struggle to always want to be first-- the best. What a real, human struggle that is. From the moment we're born, we're told that we should one day be the best, we should be first, we should win. What an exhausting battle we fight when it comes to 'people pleasing', I'm telling you-- it's never ending. You can never satisfy everyone. Never. I feel like that is an every day battle...an every hour battle. To fight to remain true to the cause you have been given and not be strayed by the voices around you that only desire for you please their temporary, shallow wants. I believe, as Jesus followers, we are called to satisfy the needs of others-- but through the power of the Holy Spirit...We can not satisfy on our own.

The quote...

"He’s first because He passionately loves me. There’s nothing I can do to make Him love me more, there’s nothing I can do to make Him love me less. He loves me perfectly right now. So He is first in my life because he is passionately crazy about me. Whether I’m doing well, or not. Whether I’m performing beautifully, or not. Whether I just sin miserably, or not. He’s nuts about me. He’s crazy about me. How can someone like that not be first." –Pete Briscoe, “I Am Second”

This quotation reminds me that even if I fail at satisfying other people... I will never fail at satisfying Him. I satisfy Him simply by being me. A fallen, broken, VERY needy, Meredith Day. His child, His servant, His absolute beloved. Just His. That satisfies. That is love.

Shalom friends,
Mere